Shadows of You

They say forgiveness is the best gift you could give someone when they've done you wrong.
Wrap it up with a bow and a kiss and everything will be okay again.
Everything will be back to normal.
Well, I did you wrong, and youre not around anymore for me to know what you think.
And well, I don't know what's normal anymore.
It isn't normal to let go of something you love..
All the more, when it's taken away from you, without your consent...
But what if I didn't really have a claim over it?
What happens then?
What if I didn't care for it enough, for it to feel a pinch? ; to think twice before walking into the abyss of light. Before leaving.
You're not here to tell me it's alright
And I can't help but wonder if it will ever be.
You left us with nothing but memories of you,
Pictures and gifts and crazy letters we wrote for fun.
Buts that all they are and will be.
Memories.
I could fill all of my four walls with photos of you but they will never be the same. Photos are mere paper.
Memories of the real you, are silhouettes dancing at the back of my mind right now.
But even dancing silhouettes of you don't seem to suffice.
You'd want us not to do this, of that I'm sure.
You'd want nothing more than for us to be happy.
I even know that you've sent forgiveness in a way that's too divine to be displayed.
But what if forgiveness isn't enough?
What then, are we supposed to hold on to, when every memory of your's is burnt into our minds and will never leave.
None of it is enough.
The memories, the words, the forgiveness...
Its all just there and I know it will always be.
I want more.
I deserve more.
but so did you...
And that's exactly what keeps  me from accepting all of this.. The fact that I let you slip through my fingers like the sand of the shore.
I have nothing left but hands covered in a brown sheen of soil.
Dirty. Ruined. Unworthy.
That's why all I really can do, is hope. Hope that someday I will learn to accept you're gone.
But until then... It's ur memories that will cling to me, that will remind me that none of this will ever be enough...
None of this will ever be what I miss the most.
'YOU'