Thursday 10 December 2015

Weak


I refuse to be myself
I refuse to act normal
I refuse to conform to the world's expectations
Excuse me if I say things that aren't like me
Excuse me if I roll my eyes at you
and excuse me if I drift away
This is my way of giving the world what it gives me
call me foolish, call me revengeful
but I have a heart
and the universe has made it it's life's aim to tear it apart
So let me mourn
let me grieve
let me, for once, not believe
That life is good, and life will get better
cause right now I'm falling off the end of my tether
I sought comfort, I sought peace
but the last thing I feel is ease.
For one who usually feels too much at once
I am reduced to numbness
Nothingness, a dunce.
And a quiet so deafening
I long for noise, noise of any kind
to fill up the silence of a grieving mind.
A drop, and then ripples, and soon waves
Change hits me like an ocean
tears catching up with graves.
And all I want is to be saved
from heart-damage and pain
not another loss, not again.
Take not from me
another piece
I am doing all I can
to hold together the real me.
Binding parts of me with the remnants of my worn soul
I am weak, tired and growing cold
Weakness has never been me
but suddenly, strength is a mirage too farfetched
and I am left pleading with thee
Take not away, another part of me.

Saturday 5 December 2015

Eyes

She was a star from conception , A design too good to be true
But she was sent to earth , His good to do
She was a walking talking piece of art
Beautiful inside and out
The apple of her parents eyes, best friend to many, no doubt
She was a leader in the truest sense
Led by example and deed
Flaws she had a few, but then again, don’t we all?
Her perfections over powered the imperfections
To complain, there was no need
Elocution queen with eyes that spoke louder than words
She was an explosion of talent
With a voice of the birds
Bubbly, vibrant, bright and beautiful
A pacakage of happiness all bundled in one
What good did the earth do? This award to have won.
She was by my side for 12 years of my life
She held my hand when joy paled in comparison to strife
Growing up in her company, teaching and learning
We changed and dreamed, with hearts that stayed burning
But life gets in the way, and plans change
And the Master of it all, has ways that seem strange
And even though I will never understand
God took away the star that once held my hand.
She was one of a kind
Animal lover, natures friend, human with a genius mind.
The world has lost a gem,
A reason to shine.
Even in death, she gave to the world
Her million dollar eyes she left behind
So that someday, someone, some hope will find.

I am left wondering why the words never came sooner
Why lives slip so easily and how they never get to know
How much we love and care, its a pity we never show.
I wish I had told her sooner, or that I could make her stay
I feel foolish to have never expressed how I adored her funny ways.
She was one of a kind.
I won't see her any more
Until the day I knock on heaven's door
Until then her memory I will keep
Alive, awake, never asleep.
I don’t quite want to accept it,
And I don’t quite think I will.
She was a fighter, a warrior,
an inspiration till the end.
She was.
She will
Forever be my best friend.

RIP Sanjna Akre 💓