I refuse to be myself
I refuse to act normal
I refuse to conform to the world's expectations
Excuse me if I say things that aren't like me
Excuse me if I roll my eyes at you
and excuse me if I drift away
This is my way of giving the world what it gives me
call me foolish, call me revengeful
but I have a heart
and the universe has made it it's life's aim to tear it apart
So let me mourn
let me grieve
let me, for once, not believe
That life is good, and life will get better
cause right now I'm falling off the end of my tether
I sought comfort, I sought peace
but the last thing I feel is ease.
For one who usually feels too much at once
I am reduced to numbness
Nothingness, a dunce.
And a quiet so deafening
I long for noise, noise of any kind
to fill up the silence of a grieving mind.
A drop, and then ripples, and soon waves
Change hits me like an ocean
tears catching up with graves.
And all I want is to be saved
from heart-damage and pain
not another loss, not again.
Take not from me
I am doing all I can
to hold together the real me.
Binding parts of me with the remnants of my worn soul
I am weak, tired and growing cold
Weakness has never been me
but suddenly, strength is a mirage too farfetched
and I am left pleading with thee
Take not away, another part of me.