Dear Over Thinker,
I know you probably think you're at your worst right now, and you probably hate waking up each morning. I'm sure you think sunlight is over rated and if I know you at all, I know your favorite place to be right now is in your bed, alone, with tears staining your pretty face.
You've been crying lately when no ones been looking, you've been thinking, and then over thinking, you've been wanting alone time, space, and when asked why, you come up blank? you're beginning to wonder if you're going crazy. How can anyone in their right mind feel so alive and still walk around lifelessly you may ask yourself. You feel so much and yet nothing substantial about it. Nothings ever enough. Everything that's coming your way is not enough, or is too much, and all you want is some kind of balance, some way of knowing just how much of everything is right.
You've been trying to be yourself. You've been trying to be the same 'you' you've always been when you're among friends. But the very fact that you're 'trying' to be you means you have changed, and if you've changed, you shouldn't hide it, especially from your friends. In fact, it is them who need to see this 'you'. You don't realize how imperative it is for you and for them, to know there is a change in your thinking, your opinions, your ideas, maybe you're view of the world is different now, and they deserve to know it. So show it.
Stop thinking there's something wrong with you. Stop beating yourself up for having a few down days. I say they are stepping stones to reach better places. We've all gotta reach our lowest to understand how miserable we can be. But what we do there is where the real challenge starts. You can choose to allow yourself a few days of darkness, and then on, to start being the 'you' you want to be. Or you could be a coward and hide the you that's real.
There is no one in this world who doesn't know what fear is. We're all afraid, afraid of whats coming next, whats gonna be the next challenge thrown into our lives. We're insecure, we carry baggage filled with our past, we're hoarders, we hold grudges and bitterness, and even though we won't admit it, there is a place in our hearts that cold. Anger and disappointment in ourselves begins from there.
It's about time dear, that you sit down, and forgive yourself. Stop for a moment and tell yourself it's okay. This, all of this is okay. You are human, you have life running through your veins, and there are people out there who count on you. who count on your life to aid theirs. There are people out there, who's lives are affected by you, who's path is already decided (by whoever decides that for us) that it is to be walked on with you. They want you, to be you. They love you.
No one, no one can guarantee you, that things will get better. In fact I can only warn you things can get worse. But one thing I can assure you, you will be thankful you stayed, you will be thankful you fought, you will be thankful you grew. You will be thankful for You.
With Love and Understanding,