Reckless

It shocks me the things I'd be willing to do for you,
The doors I'd close and the ones I'd skip through,
The people I'd let down, and the ones I'll woo.
It gets me every time, the lengths I'd cross for you,
The things I'll say, and the prices I'll pay,
To have you, even for a day.
It never fails to surprise me, the cacophony in my head,
The chaos you bring to my soul when we're tangled up between sheets of my bed.
I'm constantly in awe of the lines I've crossed
To love you despite the things I've lost,
I've lost my sanity and all common sense.
For I'm guided by the future I see for us
Ignorant of our past,
tense that you don't see,
How crazy I've turned out to be.
For you have shown me a side to me I've never known before,
You've proved I'm more than I could ever show
the others.
Flowers shining in the light of the sun,
pale in comparison to the sparkle of your eyes when you look at me and say I'm the one.
Learn
that I've beat my own standards when it comes to loving now
For I've become someone no one recognizes anyhow.
But they see me, and they say
You've never looked better than you do today.
For there is a glow in my eyes,
From getting rid of the lies
my heart tries so hard to hide.
There is a lightness in my step,
from good riddance of the hate kept inside.
I'm experiencing a soul of my own
one that always belonged but felt so disowned
become one with me again.
Send any challenge my way now,
And I will surprise myself and you,
With the things I would do
To overcome all obstacles that will stand in my way
Of loving you, wholly, right, and always.

Magic and Things

I am drawn to you like the tides are to the state of the moon,
you in your phases, lighting up the darkest parts of me,
controlling the waves of emotions that swim through my veins,
flawed, yet pure, white as snow,
I know,
that if you were to decide where the stars roam at night,
we would gaze at the skies in awe at the sight,
at the constellations and the show they put on
until the sun kisses me at dawn,
and tries to distract me from you,
with a warm, bright morn.
But I am faithful, and yours,
and devoted to your way with the stars.
Lay with me on the cool grass,
and maybe the night won't pass by too fast.
At last,
I will know what it is to hold
a celestial marvel
You can startle me
with a kiss close to heaven,
and we can talk nineteen to the dozen
with not a care in the universe.
Immerse yourself
into the beauty of the night
while we dream together of a land of knights
and princesses
and you can dance with me
fall in the recesses
of our love
I will confess to you, and you to me
that there is no beauty far superior
than sharing the love that the stars in the galaxy know well,
than understanding, that for the earth, the moon will always glow.
Hell, nothing more beautiful, than the sheen in your eyes
when I gently, but inevitably fall into bliss
of losing myself in the skies you have for lips.
This is beauty, this right here.
This universe of stars inside your soul,
is my world, my story, now told.

Monday Gyan

If you ever find yourself in a place that makes you unhappy
Move. Run. Get out.
In a world that already throws enough hate around, the last thing you need is 'choosing' to stay and settle for 'toxic'.
There are situations and people that are capable of ruining us, manipulating us, and bullying us around.
Standing up for yourself not only becomes difficult, but after repeated efforts, turns redundant.
Toxic people and toxic situations won't change. And when things don't change for you, you should deal with it yourself. Move on.
Life' s so short, my friend, your regrets will pile up and touch the sky when it actually should be you reaching for the stars.
The things you know will bring you happiness will remain a dream until you push yourself ahead. Have the courage to give yourself a life you deserve. Have the self respect to back down from things that don't do you good, and accept change. Grow.
Because if you stop, the world will grow out of you.
Put in that extra effort to be good to yourself.
Had a bad day at work? Go home and practice a hobby that helps you relax or brings you joy.
Find something to do aside from waking up, going to work/college and repeating the same thing all over again for the rest of your life.
Fill your days with people who help you grow into a better person, and people whose lives will change by having you around.
Let your actions be more inspiring than your words and be open to learning.
Appreciate, like there is no tomorrow, say Thank you for the smallest of things and count your blessings instead of problems.
Friends, we're all here for a while, do good things, things you will be remembered for. Things that make you indispensable.
Make your mark, and make memories.
Daily, try and put a smile on at least one person's face,
and most importantly- never neglect family. For even if the universe gives up on you, they will be your safe landing, your home.
Have faith. Always keep the faith and believe in something.
Choose love, and if it lets you down, choose it again anyway.
We're all we got. In the end, it doesn't matter who wins or loses. Pray that we all make it.

The Book of You

The book of you
is the book I want to spend the rest of my life writing,
fill it with stories that make you, you
and words that tell of your soul,
stitch together sentences that speak of your truth
and punctuate them with symbols of grace
and style, and every virtue you hold,
quote every love you've shared, shy or bold,
recite every poem of your heart that remained untold.
The book of you
will be lined with silver,
and covered in gold.
and when they hold it, let them feel
the heaviness of your heart
and see the light in your eyes
let their fingers caress the words you spoke,
the lies, the cries and the unforgettable goodbyes.
When they hold you, they will feel,
what it is to touch a soul made of steel.
Strong, young, always made to yield,
they will relive the wars you fought,
through life's battlefield.
With every page they turn,
let them learn what it is to burn for love,
to fall to ashes and yearn for love.
to die to one self.
only to be kept on a shelf
and gather dust
or rust.
What does it matter,
the former or the latter
both tell a story of being forgotten
a memory gone stale, rotten.
No, I will not let them taint,
I will not shorten
your story, your tale
for you have always been my ale.
I will dare not disguise
your truth as lies
I promise you,
the world will know
Why I loved you,
and why I didn't keep you.
Why I wrote you
but then couldn't read you.
The book of you
is the book I want to spend the rest of my life writing. 

What If...

What if we can be great
what if you and I were made to be
each other's eternity.
What if we soar instead of crash,
and what if we burn stronger,
never crumbling to ash.
What if we were meant to belong here,
and spend a life or two long, dear.
What if you were meant to never place foot on the moon,
cause gravity makes more sense when we laze at noon,
and fall slowly, buts surely, into bliss
what if we kiss, and worse, what if we miss what could be,
what should be.
Just cause the thought of ''we''
sounds mind- numbingly sexy,
but even more scary.
What if we become as healing as the sun,
what if you're the one,
what if we'll never know,
if we were meant to be so much more.
I could go insane,
waiting, wondering, what-if-ing,
or I could sing
to you.
And present a ring to you,
and we could paint a rainbow against a dark blue
Sky, then you'll know why
I love art, and I love your heart.
What if we could just start,
to love, and love strong.
What if, we could be together,
What if we belong.

Song of the Soul

There are souls who possess
the ability to love with no condition, to bless.
They love with no inhibitions,
no prejudice, no motive,
their love is less about 'take'
and infinitely about 'give'.
Walking a thin line
between accepting it as a curse,
or treating it as a boon,
these souls heal more than wound.
Never quite finding a mirror for their souls,
no one to love them the same, no one to hold.
Never stops them from loving ten-fold.
A heart that is often broken,
but never grows cold,
taken for granted, misunderstood
always caring more than they should.
Their love tastes of sugar and smells of sweet escape,
brings a calmness of the sun in all it's glorious entirety
setting behind a city scape,
like a cool breeze that comes your way
after the day has fallen asleep.
Feels almost like an embrace from the ocean,
vast and deep.
They kiss with their souls instead of lips
and dance with their hearts instead of hips.
Fibs will never be born of their tongue,
their souls are old, but bodies young.
Unsung is their story, untold is their song
Acknowledge their love, let them belong
listen to them love you, they're often never wrong.

Red

Words betray me,
my throat tightens and my palms get sweaty,

and my heart tries to do a silly dance
and I probably look so darn dumb.

My otherwise talkative tongue goes numb.

You should hear the tune I hum,

inside my soul,

when I think of us growing old,
together and in love.

But all you do is hover around,

and make my heart race,
find a thrill in a chase,

like a lost puppy, it follows

keeping loyal pace.

I'm in awe of your face,

and all the things your smile does to me inside.

I don't wanna hide

any longer.
This ache in me could grow stronger, wild. 

I hunger like a child,
to love you ferociously,

anything but mild.

There is a storm in my soul

that wants to hold your hand

and keep your feet rooted in soft sand.
so when it envelops you with kisses of new rain

you will embrace the storm and surrender to it, your pain. 

There is a fire within, 

that burns to win

your heart alone.

It is the only real thing I've know.

This feeling,

raw and strong

and to many, so wrong,
this feeling of being utterly, madly, daringly

addicted to wanting 

you alone.

Old Souls

There is no way
that we are of this life.
Our souls vibe with one another,
dance to no music,
and just know.
They know each other
for longer than this life.
They've crossed paths
a few millennials ago,
and have since then,
been meeting again,
and again,
running into each other every life,
finding a connection,
and no conclusion.
Each always in the wrong universe,
both praying that they may find,
some universe that may be kind,
enough to let our souls unite,
before we tire of wandering,
traveling portals endlessly,
wasting time with mortals relentlessly.
Old souls, immortal lives,
on finding love and rest, we thrive.
Our love transcends time.
Old friend, we were meant,
to love over seas and mountains,
and live by the prayers of pennies at fountains.
We'll meet again lover, no matter how old,
soulmates live forever, their love is gold.

State of the Heart Museum

Welcome to the State of the Heart Museum.
At this point I will request you to kindly switch off your brains or put it on silent mode.
Be attentive to the matters of the heart and keep up with the group.

On the left you will find a shrine
of all the people lost, hard to find,
memories divine.
To the right you will see,
the people whom Death held in captivity.
Souls taken away too soon,
effects of which are both curse and boon.
As we move ahead you will see,
letters, gifts and keepsakes held dear,
of loved ones, far and near.
Feel free to peruse them after the tour,
they are here to touch and not just for show.
Come a few feet ahead and notice this bunch,
a rare group of souls called 'Family',
they're the persistent ones.
Cause an uproar in all matters of the heart,
but always turn out to be right.
They've been here through it all,
every joy, sorrow, darkness and light.
Rich in wisdom, they've come a long way,
and for the sake of this heart, they will always stay.
To your right now, what you see,
is Crush Cacaphony.
Souls that are longed for, but not quite attained,
souls responsible for blush stains.
Take a look at your left and gaze upon
the lovers and their stories, long.
notice the fine line between the ones that stayed
and the ones that didn't belong.
And right beside it, is what we call
the Room of Words.
You will find them all categorized,
Things that were said,
Things that were left unspoken,
Things that make you,
and things that leave you broken.
and then the quotes and philosophies to live by,
and a special section of words that led to cries.
Don't miss the framed, sparkling phrase
"One large pepperoni pizza, please."
The room to your left belongs to Mr.Right,
our CEO and heartthrob
current lover, toughest job.
He's doing alright for now,
one wrong move and the floor beneath us will give way.
Trust me, you do not wanna experience heart-quake.
We alone know what it took to rebuild this place,
and to get used to not seeing our last CEO's face.
Come along now, and have a look,
at fictional characters, movies and books.
Don't be surprised, you'll find them all here
fairies, aliens, good guys and crooks.
I shall leave you now,
to browse the rest of the museum on your own.
Make sure you visit the music lounge,
and offer solace to the friend-zone.

That's all from me, your tour guide today
signing off, have a good day!

Convinced

I'm convinced I fell in love,
I'm convinced I fell harder out of it too.
The entire time, I should have known,
He had motives behind the smile worn.
I'm convinced there was a time,
His love felt like a crime of passion,
oozing with raw feeling and void of caution.
I was convinced I was spiraling
out of control, into a dark abyss,
cutting between my heart and soul.
I was convinced he was novel,
threading a line between making me feel so much,
and then nothing at all
so much so, I was oblivious to the fall.
I was convinced he wanted to be the one,
just as much as I was, that he would run.
I was convinced he wanted to ruin me, spoil me,
treat me nice and then foil me.
I was convinced there was more to the words he used coyly.
He wanted to show me that love was unpredictable,
I agreed it was and then did the unthinkable.
I cut lose from his manipulating ways disguised as a noose,
I broke ties from something I needed to lose,
He wanted to convince me I always deserved more.
Well, he got what he wanted,
I'm convinced he had to go.

Here

You'll have to forgive me

or learn to understand

this is the only place
I'm allowed to hold your hand.
In my universe of words and rhyme

I can kiss you without the curse of time

and you'll always be my prime
Don't deny me this space

to describe how you embrace

your fears and your flaws,

your victorious wars,

the things you've lost,

and the people you once cared for.

Let me have this canvas,

to paint with color,

your sky so azure,

and your rainbow so grey.

I will fill it all with reds and blues

a variety of tints and hues

ever bright, my muse.

Let me brighten here

the black and white you hold dear

and lighten the darkness you fear

let me keep here

the burdens you hold

and the pages you fold

and the hearts you consider gold

Every little thing you do

and all the words you say

I wish for them to be treasured and prized

always worth something, never compromised

You'll have to forgive me

or understand me at best

this is the only place 

my heart rests.

Perhaps...

Perhaps she loves a little excessively,
cause she was loved a little less.
perhaps she likes clearing your head,
cause her mind's in such a mess.
Maybe she clings long and hard
to souls that give her love,
cause the one soul who loved her much
was taken early above.
What if her search for comfort,
stems from a lack of care,
from all the love she didn't receive,
from lovers who were't really there.
Consider maybe she's lost too much,
love, soul, words and touch
and maybe she feels responsible
to make up for all the loss in the 'verse
and reverse hate for those feeling cursed.
Perhaps her happy smile is a strong disguise,
of the heavy soul that holds on to demise
and maybe it's anything but wise
to repress sadness, behind joyful eyes.
Perhaps she is sick of losing,
and sick of bruising,
and so very tired of choosing
between dealing with her anger
or hiding it away,
that she's chosen a coping mechanism
that's stronger in a way.
She loves like she'll never run out,
her soul, friendly and devout,
Perhaps you need to give her a chance,
to sing with your soul, and lead the dance.

Things I won't write

I won't write about how toxic you are to me
and how you believe so strongly we'll never be.
I won't write about your manipulative ways,
and that passive aggressive phase.
I won't write about those days,
when you chose another over me,
and went at it secretly.
I won't write about how some days you loved me less,
and someday you called my life a mess.
I won't write about how you pushed me away,
when I was the only friend willing to stay.
I won't write about how you belittle me every second day.
I won't write about how I bent backwards for you,
often went out of my way
and I definitely won't write about how you grew less caring day by day,
I won't write about how you let me slip away,
and I won't even think of mentioning
that dreaded Saturday.
I won't waste a post ranting,
about the things you do that madden me.
challenge me,
frustrate me.
and really, I should hate you
and you, me.
But I don't
I won't.
I won't write about how inspite of all of this
you need me, you want me.

I won't write about how you don't say it enough of times,

And how you've never been good with words or rhymes,

and I'm a fool for you and those rare small moments

When our hearts, souls and thoughts align.

I won't write about how you annoy me.

And I won't write about how I love you,

Truly, madly, deeply.

Phew!
So much for not writing.

Convenient

You're used to me now,
so used to me.
You don't even see half the things you mean to me.
You've begun to take for granted,
the seeds of trust we planted,
The ones that sadness rains over,
the very same that I now hope
brings luck of a 3 leaf clover.
Lover,
I've turned as obsolete as your phone wallpaper,
pretty for the world to see,
but used just to drop the necessities
so that their easy to reach,
Convenient.
I don't remember the last time you cared,
to ask about my day.
I do remember however,
sharing anyway.
We used to be the ocean
calm though blue.
Every ripple and wave we lived through,
pushing each other along,
Amidst the merciless winds of a storm, strong.
I've become now,
a sense of a falling character-graph,
that part in a novel,
when you watch a lead slip away,
when its nightfall and he doesn't want to see the day.
This charade we have, it's all just swordplay.
It's about strategy and love
and the decisions we pick and choose.
One of us will hurt the other,
But both of us will surely lose.

Unsung Cheerleaders

I see you, I see you standing there
beside the battle field,
as much fear in your eyes as there is in my heart
But you've been cheering me on from the very start.
I draw my faith from you,
You keep pushing me ahead.
That fire in your eyes,
Is the fire that led
me to be more than who I am.
And I showed them,
I won.
They lifted me off the ground,
crowds cheered my name
For I had won the game.
You exist,
And many exist because of you.
Because you make it your duty,
To close your eyes and pray
For your friends and the needy,
And the storms they face each day.
You dear,
are humble, and wishing only for good
you are often misjudged, misunderstood,
inadequately acknowledged, never heard about

but of the power of your prayers I have no doubt.
You should be the star,
The winner of it all.
It is you who held me up when I fell my hardest fall,
You don't want it, you don't want the attention,
But I wish anyway, to make this mention.
For if we don't thank you now,
We may never end up doing it at all.
And you deserve every bit of praise,
for your words and deeds, big or small.

Readers, I ask that you let these cheerleaders know
that their work behind the scenes, helps us run the show.
You, dear cheerleader, are my unsung hero.
I thank you for always pushing me on,
And keeping me strong,
And correcting me when I go wrong
for making me feel belonged
Thank you, dear friend
for cheering me all along.

Wrong.

If Love and Timing were the best of friends
you'd still be my miracle when the day ends
we would never have to wait for love
or give up on it's magic
we would never have to end up
with an aching heart and a love-story just as tragic
You and I could be the smell of spring after a cold winter spell
you could be the love story I'd alter into a fairy-tale to tell.
Well,
If Love and Timing were the best of friends
love stories wouldn't require amends
You would be mine, no matter the year, no matter the time
regardless of every person that stood in our way
and every obstacle-filled day
No matter if you were right for me
no matter all I left behind for you
no matter if I said the right words
though at the wrong time.
For even the wrong words deserve a chance at a rhyme
If Love and Timing were the best of mates
you and I wouldn't have to blame our fates
for holding us apart and teasing the heart
you and I could have been closer at the start
before we cursed destiny and powers above
before we gave up on ever falling in love
If Love and Timing could just get along
you and I could be where we belong.
You and I could stop being wrong. 

Drunk

Oh, you're like the good kind
The strong kind, the kind that leaves a bitter taste on my tongue
But a sweetness in my soul
For it allows me to feel you, loud and bold
Your skin, your gaze, your life-giving embrace
You're the kind that leaves me in a daze
Just a sip of your lips, my addictive craze
And I'm drunk on a taste of divine love and lust
The kind that breaks my walls down and allows me to trust
That for once,
I'm not being unreasonable for going under the influence
For once, I'm dizzy at the mercy of your perfection
I'm feeling things 10 times their origin
And seeing things in triple a vision
And I swear I haven't drank at all today
Not a sip not a shot, just not.
But you're buzzing through my veins
And I hear my heart over the rains.
My sight is blurry but my focus is right
You're the only vision I care for in this stary night
My legs are wobbling,
incapable of walking straight
They just keep leading me down your street
Until I'm standing on your porch,
with nothing to do but wait.
I'm high on a soul, a soul that's beautiful
Amazing, addictive and kind
Minx extraordinaire, I can't get her off my mind
I'm drunk on the idea of us being more
I'm drunk on a soul I wish to know.

Favorite

There's a dawn in your eyes
That makes fools of even the wise.
There is chaos in your heart,
A cacophony I wish to be lost within.
Of every soul you've ever encountered,

of every soul you've ever wandered and got lost.
I want to hear about your journeys
through lives of people you've made weak at the knees.
I've never had favorites,
But suddenly the color of your eyes has changed it all.
I've never seen any quite like yours,
Vast oceans residing in eyes, beautiful and small.
Novels have never captured me the way your story has
Every pause and every para,
Every word has become mine.
I've never really been fine,
But your laughter tastes of red wine
and I could never find another remedy that could make me feel more at ease.
Please,
Stay a while longer.
This electricity between us,
Let it shock stronger.
Let them all know, you belong here,
Right here dear.
I've never had favorites,
I guess that's cause I was just waiting for you.

Dark Horse

Life had been unfair quite often
but she wore her heart on her sleeve
and her lips donned a grin
she battled each day with a hope to win.
Challenges foreshadowed her,
but nothing could deter,
that dragon heart inside her warrior soul
the one that grew stronger with every year she grew old,
With words for swords and rational thinking- her shield,
there was not a war she hadn't ruled the field.
Conqueror by day, dreamer by night,
This fairy tale slayer chased fireflies too bright.
She had a calmness about her,
a purity, rich and white,
but in those lonely hours of a still night.
She would think about the things
life liked to throw onto her path.
Things that left scars on her soul,
and deep wounds in her heart.
Only when she was sure no one was looking,
when no one would suspect a storm was cooking,
the thunder would rage within her,
and the clouds she had for eyes,
would break like the rain falls from the skies.
she would mourn for all the lies
ever told, and all the truth untold
she was a crying mess
believing no one could care less
and to her pillow at night
she'd quietly confess
it was human of her, to feel fear
but she couldn't show the world
she didn't want to be the weak little girl.
She was no quitter,
and definitely not a sore loser.
Tomorrow was gonna be another day
another new beginning,
some more challenges to come her way,
so she closed her eyes, and with it the day.
Letting the tears stay on her cheeks,
while she continued to pray,
that all of her demons and beasts
she may bravely slay,
But tonight, tonight she wishes to be whisked away
by dreams of happy endings and easier days.
Young little warrior,
keep fighting away.
You will rise above the hate soon,
you will have your crown,
you will have your way.

Misunderstood

Behind all that make up and good looks,

there is a child who loved reading books.

Behind all the late night drinks and getting home in the morning,

there is a soul, sober and un-falling.

Below the surface that everyone sees,

there is a young kind heart that loves and won't cease.

They look at you and their gaze ends there,

on the surface, 

they don't care
to look beyond the wall you so efficiently erected,
to ask why this defense mechanism you've selected.
They call you shallow,
say you're just like the others,
that for a depth in you, don't bother.
But I can't for the life of me ignore,
that to you there is much more.
I want to learn you by heart,
learn your heart, your core,
dance with your soul.
They say you don't have one anymore,
that you have lesser friends than foe.
But I will not let go,
until I know
you and all that makes you,
and all that's hidden behind you.
They tell me I'm gonna get this heart hurt again.
Friend,
risking our hearts is why we live.
For this misunderstood soul, a chance I wish to give.
Come not in my way, until I lose.
This is what I choose
You unsettle me, you amuse.
You're hiding so much,
you're listening to the blues.
I will color those sounds,
and those filthy rumors making the rounds,
and I will love you,
and your traits and your quirks,
your sass and your smirk.
And if I get hurt,
atleast I'll know I tried,
I will walk away,
but not with wounded pride.
For my only aim is to love,
and make sure you feel no lack thereof.
There are only two ways this could go,
we could crash and burn to ashes, never to be again,
or we could fall deep into a fiery love that never has to end.

Once

Once we were something
something beautiful skimming the lines of perfect
once we were almost broken, almost wrecked
once we sat together and tried to mend
this broken world's ideas of love
once we laughed our lungs out and learned from our silliness
we wrote and shared and wrote again
and to passing time stayed oblivious.
Once you were my 3 am call
and I was your chi, your safe fall
once, with you here, nothing else mattered,
nothing at all
Once, you danced your way into my mind
and I worded through your soul
Once, we said we'd never grow old.
Once, we were warming hearts that had vowed to stay cold.
Once upon another time,
you allowed me to hold your hand in mine,
and we ran towards a gush of infinity
life hitting us in the face
taking our breaths away
leaving us with so much to say
and yet no words needed.
And when we finally slowed down,
we uttered not a sound,
yet the noise between us
stayed evident and profound.
We breathed deeply, and smiled
lives later we sat on a bench
surrounded by many
but caring only for one another
we breathed deeply, and smiled
you've always been the breath I love inhaling
every once in a while.

Poetry

Someday, I will write poetry for you
I will write about how the dots in the night skies
pale in comparison to the sparkle in your eyes
I will write about how you make heads turn
and hearts yearn, and souls burn for your love
I will write about how you were sent from above
I will write about how you smell of vanilla one moment
the next, bubble gum.
I will write about the tunes you hum.
I will write about your hair and the clothes you wear
and the blogs you share
and the causes you care
For you, not a blank page I will spare.
And you will learn what it is to be a muse
to inspire a writer to put her words to use
effortlessly, you will become the epitome of my universe
Seamlessly, you will become my poetry
Some day I will write you.
Someday, like today, poetry will become you.

No Joy But Lacks Salt

In your un-moving, consistent manner
you stay right, kind and constant
you wanton away those moments that call for change
you stay, the same, stationary
and what joy you bring while you're at it
what joy you bring
what songs they sing
for you, about you, around you
they ground you, keep you who you are
keep you from straying far
many a folk have turned fool to your joke
but they awoke
because after all that time,
after all those rhymes,
Joy was beautiful
it was life giving,
it was exhilarating
exciting
inviting
enticing
but not enough
for it lacked salt
and it felt tasteless.

Distant

From where I stand now,
I'm left wondering how
such beauty on earth is not worshiped
such grace not revered.
For this species of beauty shouldn't go unheard.
From this distance,
everything falls in perspective,
everything falls in place.
From this distance,
I'm allowed space,
to properly gaze at your sky for a face,
graced with the shine of the stars for eyes,
and a warm smile that's all truth with a touch of lies.
For there is sensuousness in your walk,
and intellect in your talk.
You are all jazz and soft piano tunes,
your pain, as invisible as your wounds.
From a distance I can see
that we may never be.
From a distance, I tread carefully,
from a distance, you are heavenly.
From a distance I know
Distant is all we'll ever be.

Chase

Oh and if there's anything I've learned about her,
It is that she loves the chase.
She wants the banter, a flirty back and forth,
for her, love isn't about haste.
She wants to taste
what it's like to have wit on her tongue
and the lips of her lover.
She walks away to see if you'll hover.
She wants to drive you to the end of your tether,
and then  trace your jaw lovingly,
with a smile, entrancing, a touch like feather.
May I add how she loves the stormy weather,
how the roaring thunder chases after lightening,
and how the tides hug the shore
in an embrace that's rather frightening.
She wants the give and take,
She wants to wake
to a teasing touch
that feels like an honest 'I love you much'.
She loves the subtext,
the hidden yet evident intent,
subtleties and meaningful stares,
big hints, small cares.
She likes being a mystery
she likes unraveling one too
she's afraid shes more in love with the chase
than she is in love with you. 

Dear Soul

Dear soul,
There are things about her that you'll never forget. Things like:
The way she flips her hair from side to side
The way she talks
The way she walks
The way she smiles and the way she laughs
The way she embraces and the way she greets
The way her eyes lit up when you'd meet
The way she ridiculed your silliness
Yet entertained you in your illness
The way she loses her cool and  gets mad
The way she closes in on herself when she feels low and bad
The way she kisses you to make you glad
The taste of her lips and the feel of her hips
The taste of her tongue and how she made you feel so young
The touch of her hand and the feeling of her palm
The beauty of her flaws and how she always stayed calm
The imperfect ways she had to become perfect in your eyes
The sudden calls at night to tell you to look up at the star-filled skies
The way she'd bit her lip when she didn't know you were looking
Or those surprise Sundays when she said she was cooking
Those walks down the shore and those kisses at her door
The never having enough of her, always wanting more.
The way she drowned herself in her tears and looked to you to be her hero
The way she let you hold her when a friend turned foe
How her smile reached her eyes and shone like the sun
How you knew she was going to be the one.
The way she whispered hi, the way she finally said goodbye
Goodbye.
Dear soul,
There are things about her that you'll never forget.
Things about her that'll never grow old
Like the love you shared, late nights in her bed,
The taste of her mouth, sweet, confident, never a doubt
The smell of her hair, lingers on the pillow there
And while none of it seems fair, you can't help but care.
There are things about her you won't let go
Things like her love, her mind, her beautiful, beautiful, angelic soul.
Her soul, and your love for it, will never grow old.

We'll Get There

They know.
they look at us,
and they know.
Maybe it shows.
I know.
when I look at you,
O how I know!
I know that you're the one
and I can look at you for days
never tire of your face
I could gaze in awe
at every contour
and every dip and plane of your face
But there is pain on your face
because they know.
because they're watching me looking at you.
and they know.
I want to protect you from their piercing gaze
protect us from them calling us a phase.
Oh they'll never see,
they're all crazed.
I'm counting the days,
and all the ways,
until and how
we can be one;
until and when
we won't need to fear guns
and looks, and stones and bombs
stay calm, my love
we will reach there
there where we can love free
there where I will love you openly
there when you and I
can unashamedly be we.

Spread Love. Not Hate. #PrayForNice

I beg thee,
Love.
I beg thee to Love and never stop
I beg thee to Love anything you do
and do everything with Love.
I beg thee to let your motives always be Love.
I beg thee to keep in check,
that deep down,
hiding behind any thought or act,
let there only be Love.
I beg thee, erase anything that erases Love
I beg thee,
because we are in dire need of Love.
Love for life,
your own and those of others
equally.
I beg thee to think twice
before you let even one spark of hate
danger someones fate.
I beg thee to have faith.
That we can be a better world
before it's too late.
I beg thee to spread love alone,
Never hate. 

For You (In memory of those we lost on 11th July 2006)

For you, dear soul
who never grew old
for you, who deserved life 10-fold,
for you, who suffered pain,
for no fault aside preferring a train
for you who died in the company of many,
yet alone.
For you, millions mourn.
I will not let your memory go in vain
it was you, but it could have been any of us
any of us could have suffered that pain
While some play the blame game
I choose to whisper a prayer with your name
You are loved and missed
your blood run's through the city's veins.
May you who have passed on into the heavens
someday be reunited with your brethren
Your journey ended too soon, and so unexpected
but the memory of you will stay protected
In memory of a day that shook my city up
for you dear souls, I raise my cup

Some Cries

Some cries come in the form of rains,
The lightening and thunder, a symbol of excruciating pain.
Some cries come in the form of a long, loud, mournful honk,
A train's or truck's
Someone's bad day, someone's horrible decision, someone's helpless luck.
Some tears never see human love
Soft cries at night,
A pillow instead of a shoulder
Tear stains, proof of the pain.
Some wails are heard in the creak of the ceiling fan
And in the fall of a foot-stool
Some ring out in the corridors of a high school
Some weeps are heard
In the plight of the birds
When terror strikes, at moments absurd.
Some cries whisper at night
When death comes silently,
Softly, slowly, with might.
Some tears are invisibly shed,
By a heart monitor beside a hospital bed.
Some cries are loud and fierce,
Some cries, our hearts, they pierce.
Some sobs echo under the bridge
Those of a hungry child, that can't afford the luxuries of your fridge.
Some chokes between words, turn negligible with time,
But listen carefully, this isn't just your ordinary rhyme.
There is pain between words and cries that go unheard.
Do your bit, be aware of the falling tears.
Aware of people that need you near.
Don't hesitate to offer your hand.
We are all made of the earth,
We will return to sand.
We are one world, one land.
Don't let those pleas go in vain
Be human. Banish pain.

21 Types of Female BFFs

Man cannot live in isolation. Never has, never will. We rely on friends and loved ones to support us, and motivate us, and feed our egos and calm our insecurities. Whatever it may be, each of us has that one special friend we know we can always count on. The BFF (for those unfamiliar with the term, it's Best Friend Forever) With the fear of being judged as cheesy or kiddish, a lot of people today prefer to use other names for BFF, but nevertheless, it is still a thing. Below, I've taken time to list out 21 Types of BFFs, I'm sure you'll find one you relate to.

The Singer BFF (Sometimes wanna-be)
This friend is your walking-talking, high school musical loving, break out into song in the middle of the road kind of friend. You'll often find them humming a familiar tune while walking down the street and will probably break out into harmony when singing with a group of friends. These ones usually know most of the lyrics of the popular songs, and have probably heard a song thrice before you even found out about it.

The Writer/Reader BFF
This kind of friend is the one who thrives on words and the beauty of them. They will carry the book their currently reading on their person at all times and if they're not reading, they're probably writing out a brilliant train of thought in their head to pen down later. These are the kind of friends who follow the all famous quote and poem pages on Instagram and Facebook. They tend to love all kinds of classy stationary and often collect more than they use. Gifting such friends is never a problem.

The Short BFF
I mean no offense in this one, because trust me, some of my best friends are shorter than me, but they're spirits are larger than life. This friend is the cutie-patoie minion you love to hug and anything they say cannot be taken seriously. This is the friend you automatically feel protective about, even though they're braver than you, and could possibly reach greater places than you can dream of.

The Head-in-the-gutter BFF
No one reading this can tell me they haven't had a friend who can turn anything into a sick, vulgar joke. and I mean almost anything. all they have to do is grin and raise their eyebrows suggestively and BAM! they've pulled you head into the gutter to accompany theirs.

The Girl BFF
This is the friend who always get's her winged eyeliner right, she knows exactly what shade of which colour looks best on her, and she celebrates her beauty like every woman should. She dresses to impress and never looks out of place. All eyes turn to her when she enters the room. she's the kind of best friend who makes you wonder what is it about you that she still considers you, the awkward girl who doesn't know shit about make-up, the BFF she can rely on.

The Tom-boyish BFF
This is the most chill friend you've ever had and the most drama-less relationship you've ever shared. This is the friend who'll make herself available to you whatever time you need, no matter the weather or circumstances. They usually come across as super -cool and the friend that everyone wants to have. Well, you were the lucky chosen one.

The Hungry BFF
Need. I. say. more.

The Sibling BFF
Now this kind of friend knows your wardrobe inside out. They can name any outfit, and describe it to the T. And if they're the same size, then you no longer know which outfits originally belong to whom. When dressing up to go out, you have to not only raid your own cupboard, but hers too. Even that favorite pair of heels you own is at her place. So you have to go over to decide on your look and that eventually turns into a full fledged fashion show, complete with a ramp walk and great music. And then you get late for wherever you had to be.

The Confidante BFF
This is that friend who knows all your deepest darkest secrets, all your weaknesses and everything that destroys you. They know what it takes to hit you where it hurts, but they will never rub anything in your face. They will hold the weapon that your secrets have become, but never point it at you. They're the kind you trust with your soul. My personal favorite.

The Foreigner BFF
This one's kind of rare, but it's mostly for that childhood friend you grew up with, who had to move abroad for some particular reason. And now, even though your Time zones are the cause of all the lack of communication, when you do get a chance to 'Hang-out', or Facetime, or Skype, it turns into a 3-hour-long therapy session that you both so desperately needed.

The Fake-Accent BFF
This type of friend is usually the same one from the point above, they've moved to a foreign country and so, have picked up a little of the accent, and it shows in a few words they say while talking to you, and you just want to laugh so hard because you've always heard them talk so natively, that this change cracks you up a little too much. This type of friend can also be the friend who just decided to change her accent one fine morning.

The All-Nighter BFF
Now this one's a keeper. You have the day friends, and then you have those special people who can't or won't sleep, and they'll hear all your life' s problems through the night. They may or may not have a solution for you, but they always prove to have great listening skills and you eventually do feel a lot better

The Party Animal BFF
This type of BFF knows all the happening places around the city, and has a party to go to every weekend. She often always has plans, and even if she doesn't, she can make one on the spot. She knows all the remedies to a bad hangover and can cure one efficiently. and if she doesn't, well, she'll just deal with it and then go party again.

The Sleep-Loving BFF
This one can practically sleep anywhere. She is very adaptable to all situations, and can manage to have a comfortable nap almost at any given place and time. Sleep is a priority, even before food and shelter. You'll often find them snoozing away on your shoulder. It's no shocker that a chill day with them, means falling asleep for hours.

The Sugar Rush BFF
This is the type of friend, who regardless of whether there was an intake of sugar or any sort of candy, she seems to be hyperactive, super excited about everything, and often loud. This type of friend is very expressive, loves to make conversation, jumps and talks with a lot of action, and will come with a good amount of unnecessary giggles.

The Fangirl BFF
All of us have one of these. The kind of friend who is obsessed with one or many TV shows/Books/Movies etc. This friend is very passionate about the said TV show/Book/Movie and will often make references to it. It is mandatory that you recognize these references and either get excited about them, or in the least, acknowledge that you understood it. The Fangirl BFF is highly emotional, and needs to express. Terms you will often see in a chat window of a fangirl BFF : OMG, asdfghjkl, I cannot even!, OTP and ship

The Gold-Hearted BFF
This BFF is suspected to be super human. The selfless giver who's always just a call or a text away. This kind will go out of their way to be there for you come rain, storm or the apocalypse. They're often the quiet, humble, modest, and sincere angels that everyone needs,

The Long Distance BFF
Eventually, we all get one of these. Inadvertently, a friend gets an opportunity to study/work abroad and although your joy knows no bounds for them, there is a part of you that knows you will miss them and you'll miss all their shenanigans. A long distance friendship stays strong most of the time, and the longer the time away, the sweeter the reunion.

The Shoulder- To-Cry-On BFF
Whats a BFF if you can't rely on her to be there for you, not only in your moments of extreme joy, but also in your 'I'm so miserable I don't wanna exist' state of mind. This BFF, regardless of whether she has a solution to your problems, has a super comfortable shoulder and isn't bothered about the tear stains you'll leave behind.

The Ambitious BFF
This one's a go-getter. And it pisses you off sometimes cause she always wants to run after her dreams and never makes time for recreation, but nevertheless, you adore her drive and passion and you wish that all her dreams come true.

Now that you've read 21 of these traits, I'm sure you already have a few friends in mind who own the trait like they invented it. Go on, feel free to share this and tag them in it too. 

For those of you who are still wondering why I've written such a blog... Well, while many of you have best friends with a few of these traits, my very own best friend is all of the above. 

Happy 21st Birthday, Renelle Pereira. 

I love you!

Happy Fathers Day

It's pouring outside.
the skies are finally emptying out all of their pent up emotion
and I couldn't be more grateful.
Every life that has been waiting patiently for this life giver to arrive
will look up to the clouds and thank their gods
and the stars, and their fate, and everything else they choose to believe is the cause of the rain
I'm thankful, glad,
but also mournful and sad
for I have too many memories tied up with the rains
too many memories of you, of your love, and your pain.
Missing you comes in waves
today I'm struggling to keep afloat
you were my lifeguard, my safe-boat
It feels like just yesterday we walked hand in hand in the rain,
your palm, bigger, stronger, protectively grasping mine
if there's anything I want back, it's our lost time
The skies are thundering, and lighting up
and along with the good memories of you and the rain
comes that one sorrowful night, you were defeated by pain
It's Father's day today, and while most of the world is posting wishes and photos
I'm writing a poem to let you know
Thing's aren't the same but we're doing okay
I still think about you every day
Mama's a fighter, she makes a perfect dad they say
I miss you, and right now I wish I could kiss you
and wish you a Happy Father's Day.

Seeking Home

Everyone's looking for home.
But I don't mean a four-walled shelter for protection from the cold, 

or heat, or snow, or rain. '

No.
I'm talking about home, for comfort from the pain.
We're all nomads, moving from one home to another, 

settling down and then getting worked up, about not finding what we're looking for, 

so we pack up again and hunt, and while on our miserable journey, 

we down spirit like it'll make up for the one in us that we've abandoned.
We think it'll numb the empty, overwhelming pain, but it does nothing to fill and nothing to please, the only option is to never cease to move on. 
Keep hunting till you find your prey, the soul that'll turn your darkness to a day, 

till you see home in the eyes of a person, and comfort in the voice of the same, 

stay restless until you find it, stay moving and stay mad, fight for the love you know you deserve.
From anything else dodge out, swerve.
You have love in your veins, 

flowing strong and thick, 

no spirit but yours can give you the right kick, 

a kick in the right direction, towards your home connection.
You'll know when you're home, you'll feel it when you're near. 

I felt it like a gush of wind hitting my face on a cool January day. 

I felt at home, even though home was far away.
I found it in someone, someone I'll love forever and a day.
To you, my home, 

I look to you and I feel safe, I am comforted by your sweet embrace, 

and I could draw with the stars, the beauty of your face, 

and still not be able to do justice to your grace.
You are above all, my beautiful midnight, 

the kind where the moon shines dimly, allowing only the stars to shine bright.
You are, in my darkness, my light.
You dear, are my home, my lover, my victorious fight.

Holding Pattern

Around and around,
Tip toeing around.
A few words
bitter and cold,
then some comfort
enough that we're sold.
But I miss the hold
I miss us bold
and not shy
Not shy to share a laugh
or comfort a cry.
Sweet potion, from our lips, one moment
venom, the next.
I fly around
waiting to land.
We were inseparable,
like the sea and the sand.
I miss your hand,
soft, slightly tanned.
We're floating around
wandering alone,
because you're harder to reach out to now,
what with that wall for a cloud,
and we could drop down any moment,
fall straight out of this high,
but it is the landing I fear
I fear we won't land nigh
What we have now
is a holding pattern at best
waiting
for a move
for someone to send a signal
for our souls to find rest
for that last shoe to drop
and then it'll all stop.
You will arrive
and I will depart
and our holding pattern
will break apart
but silently
we will implode
and the noise will eat us up inside
reminding us of how we let go
how we gave up.
If ever we crash, love
if ever we break
in another world
beside you, I wish to wake.
I pray we stop spinning in circles
and end this wretched chase
I tire, I long for your embrace
Until then, I hope you hold
and never let go
I hope we find a safe landing,
some love and more.

A Whiff of Home

I'm laughing.
Cause once again,
my feet are glued to the ground
frozen.
Now and then,
I recognize it,
that sweet fragrance.
The one that's all you.
I don't know perfumes,
and all their brands and labels,
but I know you.
And I know when I sense you.
And all it takes is a stranger,
some random stranger,
wearing your fragrance,
to pass me by.
And I'm lost,
in a place that's all too familiar,
I have to take a moment,
to stop and close my eyes.
And maybe to everyone else,
it may seem like just a fleeting second in time,
but for me,
it's hours of knowing you
it's dates and dinners
and late evening walks
it's movies and make out sessions
and it's our aimless talks
it's looking into your eyes
a portal to your soul
it's hours of us talking about
what we'll be like when we grow old.
It's mornings of waking up with my skin on yours,
and nights of tangled limbs and deep kisses,
Breathing you in, in the am,
and letting go of only myself.
it's hours of living You,
and leaving me,
and in that moment, in that reverie,
for as long as the fragrance stays,
as the stranger walks past me,
I just want to be
with you.
The fragrance fills me,
fills every empty space you left when you walked away.
it mingles with my blood,
the same way you flowed through my veins,
before I lost you. Now I'm counting my gains,
they are few. They're nothing like you.
And then my lungs are exploding,
cause I can't hold onto it long,
just like I couldn't keep you,
I exhale.
and poof.
It's gone.

I'm laughing.

Don't Let Them Go.

When you stop letting them know,
You start to let them go.
And although slow,
They will eventually walk out the door
And you will be left feeling poor
Heart empty, soul sore
Wondering whether you've turned a bore
When you ask then if anything's wrong
They'll definitely say no.
But you know.
You let go,
When you stopped letting them know.

Tell them. Be open and tell them.
Every once in a while say it.
Remind them why they mean a lot
Remind them they're a blessing you caught
Keep them near, the ones you hold dear
We only live this one life here. 

I love you. I need you. You matter.

Plea

Can you be you
Can you be the you I fell in love with
The you who fell in love with me
The you who let me be me
Cause this new you won't let me be carefree
This new you is more laughing at me than with me
Downsizing me, depreciating me
This new you, is not the real you.
This new you is scary and unreal and trying hard
You've never had to try. You just had to be, you know
Yet there you are, wind in your hair, feet here, mind afar
Breath warm and filled with that last one from the bar
And here I am, wondering who you are.
This isn't you.
But hell who am I to tell you what you should be
You've always been the ruler of your life
I just feel it vital for you to know
That maybe you're letting yourself go.
And maybe you won't listen, maybe you want more
But I'm trying and tiring of holding on
I don't want to be gone
I don't want you to be gone.
But it seems you want the space
You want me nowhere near your place
And definitely not in your face.
That's just my problem though.
Staying away. From the one person who I live for every day.
You. The real you.
The real you that's tip toeing away.

Soul Satisfying

It all made sense, that I had gaps. 

I had empty spaces and you knew how to cover the holes in my soul. 

You knew what to say and when to say it, you knew how and you knew why, 

and you knew it before I cried. 

You saw through the void in me, and made me see I am more than what I'm told to be.
You showed me what I am when I am me and you grew on me. 

You became the wind that blew reality in my face when I stood at the edge of the cliff

ready and willing to give it all up.

You were the face I saw behind closed eyes a second before I took the next step onto thin air

and it was the tears in your eyes that pushed me back two humongous steps until I fell to the soft warm grass.

But the moments after that were torturous

as I lay in the grass, staring at the blue skies above me,

the ones that pale in comparison to the blue I felt inside

knowing you'll never know

knowing that today isn't the same as yesterday was,

knowing that you aren't yesterday's you. 

I'm left reminiscing about you all the time. 

Every conversation, mostly the ones that made no sense, those are the ones I cherish most, 

those are the ones, of love, they boast. 

The kind we know isn't going anywhere, but we flow with it, you let me share, 

until my soul was bare. 

You were always there. 

And all of those gaps, the ones that led nowhere, were suddenly covered whole, no longer cold, 

a soul easier to hold and carry around, because no longer was there a void to be found. 

You made me whole. You satisfied my soul.

You walked away, bold. 

Implode

My biggest fear is that we'll implode.
That someday when we're not looking and when the rest of the world is, we'll softly, silently, break inwards, fall to pieces within our souls and implode.
And maybe we'll realize it, maybe we won't, or maybe it'll take time, but when we do realize it, the pain will come in waves and creep onto the shore of our hearts taking with it my favorite memories of you and washing up onto the shore all of the reasons why you had to go.
Maybe no one will hear it when our hearts sink and maybe we'll implode so very discreetly, that it takes us time to accept it at first,at second,
Never. 
Maybe I'll fight it. Maybe you'll fight me, but whatever it may be, we'll only be fighting destiny. Because maybe it was written, maybe we weren't meant to be, maybe the fates were playing around with me.
When we implode... No. If we implode, I imagine I'll meditate on all the things we didn't know we were letting go and all the words we could have said before we went to bed, and all the times you laid your head against my shoulder, and all the stories we made up of what we'll be when we're older.
I'll meditate on your eyes, on your smile, on the way you threw your head back and laughed like a child, and then I'll have to remind myself we imploded.
Because by god, I could get lost in your world when I think I about you, and I could forget that we aren't us, I'm distracted and foolish and maybe I'll never be able to get over you, and that love, is what I fear most.
My biggest fear is that we'll implode.

Until Tomorrow, Kate Beckett

Stana Katic

For those of you who read my blog regularly, this may come across as something so not me. This isn't your usual wanna-be poetry or a POV of a fictional character or any of the ordinary stuff that I post here. This, dear friends, is my much awaited rant for the highly unexpected departure of my all time favorite character Kate Beckett from the TV series Castle (2009)

On the 18th of April, as I sat at my desktop at around 11 pm, I had just reached the end of the episode where Rick reveals that he'd serviced Kate's motorcycle for her and they made a plan to ride around the country together soon (S08E18 Backstabber)  and at the same moment, as I grinned like an idiot at the scene, my phone buzzed with a tweet from a cast member. and I swear to you, that was all it took to wipe the grin off my face. and suddenly, what followed the first tweet was a series of tweets from the cast all saying goodbye to Stana Katic and wishing her all the very best for her future away from Castle.

I legit began to cry. and as I slept that night I was taken back to the moment I first started watching Castle. It was the year 2011, and I'd gotten addicted to the series after watching the first few season at a stretch. I had fallen in love with the characters and their stories and mostly with Kate Beckett. What always got to me, was that I, as a fan was made to fall in love with her character the way Rick Castle slowly and eventually fell in love with her. With every new thing he learned about her, with every little thing he felt, every moment that they found themselves at the edge of a cliff, I was right there, with them. With every new episode that allowed Rick into a new aspect of Kate's life, we the fans were taken there too. We've journeyed their lives through the seasons.

I guess what the writers hadn't anticipated, but appreciate now nonetheless , is that every fan found themselves empathizing with Kate. Be it about losing a loved one, being victim to injustice, growing up with an alcoholic parent, being closed off behind walls you've built for yourself, being flawed and imperfect, almost damaged. There was also the idea that Kate Beckett took all of that in her stride and became for us a woman of immense strength, bravery, humility and because I began to love her the way Castle did, I saw her as an inspiration. She wasn't just Castle's muse. She became the source of creativity for so many young fans. In fact there are pieces on this blog that have been inspired entirely by Kate Beckett and her relationship with the writer.

Knockdown

It was in 2012 that I discovered the art of fanfiction, and ergo, I found myself spending hours on end reading through the minds of fans, and how they expressed their imaginations on the site. What blew me away was how very invested every writer was with the characters and their lives, and how in writing things that never really happened on the show, they allowed themselves to become the writers of alternative endings and story lines, using the same characters and their backstories.

I remember wanting to miss the 7.30 am lecture at college on Tuesdays just so that I could watch Castle live with the US and be part of the live tweeting by the cast and writers along with the rest of the fandom. I can't remember a day where I haven't begun my morning with coffee from my custom made Castle mug. Half of all the gifts I receive on my birthdays are all Castle merchandise because by now I've made it all too clear to my friends that CASKETT is my all time One True Pair. I am an avid Heat series reader and the set of Nikki Heat books I own are my most prized possessions. It depresses me that if Stana is no longer on Castle, it'll just as well mean that Kate may no longer be Castle's source of inspiration and thus, the Heat series will discontinue, and bam! Just like that, I'll lose my favorite series of books along with my favorite fictional character.

Time Of Our Lives

Kate Beckett, a character built on the principles of fighting for whats right, accompanied with the ideals of intelligence, love, passion and beauty, became my go-to person. In my opinion, she built the series for me over all the 8 season that I've so religiously followed. Kate Beckett taught me what it is to fight for what you love, to stand up for what you believe in and be yourself while you're at it. She taught me, you can be whatever you want to be, no matter what stereotypes there are, and no matter what the world prefers. She taught me that no matter what, truth always conquers.

Some of Stana's best performances as Kate, I believe, were in episodes like Killshot, Probable Cause, In the belly of the Beast and Veritas. And it's a real pity that she wasn't noticed for these, that she wasn't awarded for her exceptional work. While I am just as big a fan of Nathan Fillion and his brilliance, I am torn with the news that Stana, a woman who over these past 6 years has become my idol, has been asked to leave the show.

Veritas

In the belly of the beast

XX

Kill shot

If you think it stops at Kate Beckett being an inspiration to her fans, you're wrong. From the very beginning, I've been a staunch, almost creepy stalker of Stana's twitter handle, and I've often dreamed of being noticed by her. But there are a million other fans aspiring for the same, only because we've found that she as a person, has taught us so much not just through the character she so very beautifully plays, but because of her dedication to the role, her commitment to the series, and her constant love for her fans. It is no secret that Stana is dorky, fun-loving and adventurous person. The movies and projects she involves herself in stand testimony to what her priorities are and how big her heart is. Her ATP (Alternative Travel Project) in LA and her involvement in CHLA have inspired fans all over the globe.

I feel proud to be part of a fandom, who worked so hard over these years of Castle to bring the show it's treasured 'Peoples Choice Awards', be it for the show entirely, or for the actors. A special mention here that Stana received the Peoples Choice Award for her role as Kate Beckett 3 years in a row now and I believe it is well deserved. What I will miss the most is the little words and catch phrases that Stana left us with while interacting with us over Castle. #CaskettingLikeABoss will forever be known as a tag given to us by the queen of the ship herself.

Time of our lives

Significant Others

While some of my closest friends never understood my obsession with the series, or with the characters, I was often ridiculed and questioned as to how and why I could love something so much. After a good number of 'Castle 101' sessions, I gave up on trying to make people understand. I didn't need peoples approval or acceptance of the fan girl in me. Hell, I even know there's just about a handful of my friends who've take the time out to read this rant, and I appreciate it.
I will forever hold close the friendships I've made because of Castle and mostly because of Kate Beckett. Our shared love and respect for her, has brought me closer to so many fans around the world and in my own country.

Will I watch Castle season 9 when it premiers again in September this year? I will. Because as much as it breaks my heart that Stana had to leave, and as much as I hate ABC for doing this to me and to the many fans around the world, I do love and respect all of the other actors, writers and crew members of the show. Writers like Andrew Marlowe, Terri Eda Miller, Jim Adler, Stephanie Hicks, Terrence Winter, Dara and Chad Creasey, Rob Hanning and the rest are writers who interact with the fans and whom I've had the pleasure of tweeting. They have worked endlessly over the years to give us a series that became more than just any Tv show. Prop Master, Rob Kyker is just as interactive with the fans across the globe, and the last thing I'd want is for people like them to be blamed for something they had no hand in.

Cast and crew of Castle (2015)

Cast and crew of Castle (2015)

I'm deeply saddened  that Stana's last episode with Castle is just around the corner, but at the same time, I'm happy that she can now step into new waters. Do more than she's ever done, and amaze us with her excellence.

Stana, I don't know if this will ever reach you, but know that I wish you all the very best for everything you decide to do. You have given life to what could have just been an ordinary character on a TV series, and for your efforts and dedication, I am grateful. If only you knew how much of a difference you've made in the lives of so many people around the world. We will forever support you and everything you stand for. Can't wait to watch your upcoming movies - Sister Cities and The Tourist

For 6 years of my life, Kate Beckett has been my inspiration, my idol, my go-to person. I found home in watching her build herself up to become what she's always dreamed of becoming, and finding her true love in a writer she never dreamed would be hers. She became part of my life, and she will ALWAYS be.

Sister Cities (2016)

The Tourist (2016)

And for you my readers, I just got a hold of these BTS pictures of the Finale that's due May 16th. Now leave me be, to stare at them and cry at the fact that these will be the last BTS we will ever see of Stana on Castle. Okay now, bye.

Castle 8x22- Crossfire (Season Finale BTS)

Castle 8x22- Crossfire (Season Finale BTS)

"There are no regrets. All in all, I think we've had a great run."- Kate Beckett (Still)