Pay Attention

The secret is to pay attention.
to watch every move,
and learn her groove,
to observe and learn,
her love, to earn.
To listen more than talk
to learn the way she walks.
Is it lazy? is it rushed?
how badly has her heart been crushed?
Notice the small things,
the way she laughs,
and the times she doesn't.
Notice what gets her quiet
and what gets her ranting nineteen to the dozen.
Take a moment to only watch,
when she doesn't realize you're looking.
Study the lines on her face when she's
reading, or sleeping, or even cooking.
There's so much to know
from the things she doesn't show
and all the things she doesn't say.
Read into her anyway,
You may not be able to read her mind,
but learn her right
and a deep connection you'll find.
Save yourself the apprehension,
The secret is to pay attention.

Trapped Behind A Kiss

I can't tell you what I feel,
I can't tell you what I pray for when I kneel,
I can't describe to you what I dream of at night,
and I surely can't tell you about this internal fight.
I can't talk about my fears,
and I can't explain how you bring me sad and happy tears,
and I also can't tell you why I constantly want you near.
I can't describe the goosebumps on my skin,
neither can I talk about the shivers within.
My tongue won't dare speak of your smile,
it hasn't been able to say the right words for a while.
I can't talk of your strength and how it holds me,
and I can't talk of the love I see
in your eyes. I can't say
how I need you each day,
when I've never needed anything this way.
I can't tell you how every breath,
exists to mingle with your own,
and how when we're not talking,
I feel the worst of alone.
I can't put in words
what my heart won't let me admit,
I can't say out loud,
how I love you to bits.
But if you let me kiss you,
I assure you one thing
you'll hear every word I've been unable to say,
and every song I dared not to sing,
you'll feel every emotion I've kept away,
and every thought that never saw the light of day.
If you let me kiss you,
you'll know then the chaos within me,
and how only you have the power to quieten the ruckus.
You have the power to release me with a kiss
I won't hold you to it, I won't expect you to stay
but kiss me just once and know what I dared not to say. 

Undigitalize

In a world so caught up in connecting online, you may wonder why I would sit here and post something called ‘Un-digitalize’. Who even has the time to hear what I have to say about something they would never think of doing? i.e. Going offline. Well, you’ve reached here, now you might as well give my rant a chance.

I am a geek to say the least, and to put it very plainly, I value the friends and connections I’ve made over the internet. It amuses me how you can be with someone while being alone at your computer and share togetherness while being worlds apart. I felt connected. I felt in-touch.

Bullshit. Don’t let anyone let you believe an online friendship is real. Real togetherness comes from real encounters and real bonding.

We have grown up into an age where the digital world fools us into believing things that don’t exist. We constantly look for acknowledgement and appreciation in the form of  ‘likes’ and ‘follows’ to make up for our lack of self-esteem, thereby feeding our egos to console our insecurities and wherever else we lack in the real world. We’ve taken it to such an extent, that today, even while being in the physical presence of friends, we are online and bonding digitally, while ‘Real Togetherness’ is screaming for our attention.

Sometimes I envy my elders who lived their lives free of technology and the digital world. They were high-spirited, confident and they sought real friendships. They planned picnics to the beach, built sand castles, chased butterflies, played 7 tiles and tag, and spent hours on end with nature and its calming beauty.  They even found their spouses without any help and existence of a digital world because there was nothing more beautiful than spending quality time with a loved one.

They captured memories on cameras without knowing what the hard copy of the photo would look like, they clicked candid pictures that really meant 'candid', and they surely didn’t post it to a forum, hungry for acknowledgement and acceptance. Those were the days when togetherness was about actually spending quality time with the people you love and adore and not face-timing or ‘whatsapp’ing when you live just a few blocks apart.

Take a walk in the park, or simply go watch the sun set over the vast horizon and be sure to share that beautiful moment with a friend. It is the small wonders of nature that move us if we let it. It is my plea to you dear friend, that you get your rear off that seat and go see a friend. Wipe off the dust that’s collected on your people-skills and get to work. You have people to meet, new friendships to make and real togetherness to experience. 

In a world that’s getting more fake by the day, make an effort to build relationships that are real so that you can say you’ve experienced Real Togetherness.

Undigitalize.

Kissan believes in breaking free from the clutches of our phones and computers and enjoying Real Togetherness. Learn more here- http://www.kissanpur.com/

That Old Grey T-Shirt

Step by step,
one piece at a time,
you separated your things from mine.
You took away whatever you brought,
and slowly took over my every thought.
Your frames and your perfumes,
your make up and your shoes,
every cabinet and cupboard that we shared
now reeked of a single heart, torn and bared.
You packed your clothes and hid the tears
you walked out on me and my silent fears,
you boxed it all up inside
just like the emotions you tried to hide.
You pulled from me, what we tried so hard to build,
I held on tighter than I've ever held before,
but you needed to get out, you needed more.
You simply wanted to go.
For a year now, I thought I had captured your heart,
but surprise surprise, in your handful of obsessions,
I was but a small part,
even though you vowed,
only death would do us part.
You may have undone everything we put together,
you may have taken away all that was yours from mine,
but darling you forget every single time,
our lives have blended together to a point of no return.
You can't take the love away, you can't ignore that burn.
I will fight for you, I will,
my heart will not sit still.

I noticed you came back when I was away,
I also noticed you took a shirt of mine that I had left out yesterday.
If you're lonely, I need you to just say.
I will come get you, bring you home today.
I found the t-shirt you left for me,
the one that smells beautifully of you,
that grey ol' thing you liked to wear at night,
the one I used to tease your skin beneath when I loved you right.
The memory brought me a smile,
the kind I haven't worn in a while.
I felt you near when I brought it close
soft material, soothing, warm, you,
but cold.
I hope when you wear my shirt tonight,
it will remind you that we are bigger than the fight
and maybe, just maybe,
we can make things right.
Come home soon, I miss breathing you
until then, this old grey t-shirt will have to do..

4 am Call

I want to be your safe landing,
your north star.
I want to be wherever the hell you are.
When you're feeling blue,
I want to be all of its shades,
and with you.
I want to be the star you search for,
when the light in your life dies down.
I want to be that stupid joke,
that maybe even for a moment can banish a frown.
I want to be that hug you can run to,
whenever you need and whenever you don't.
Deny you love? I can't, I won't.
I want to be those 'past midnight, too early morning' calls,
when you feel trapped behind your self-erected walls.
I want to be the story you tell yourself at night,
when sleep is a dream, and for rest you fight.
When you're making up plots and calling the shots,
I want to be the character you adore lots.
I want to be your go-to girl,
when nightmares become synonymous with the world,
and when running away
seems like an escape too far away,
and the safest feeling
is when under your blanket you curl.
I want to be the sun and it's warmth,
when the ice of everyone's love begins to burn.
I won't teach you trust,
but with you I want to learn.
I want to be a step behind,
so that I can watch you shine,
and cheer you on as the years go on.
I will stand proud,
screaming your name in the crowd.
And I will catch you when you take that dive,
when you decide you want to fall.
I will be there waiting,
just like always.
Arms wide open, standing tall.
I was and forever will be
your 4 am call.

Together When Apart

Time could have changed us,

time could have diminished what we had,

it could have made me love you less,

it could have brought on a storm of sad.

We could have lost touch,

and never seen each other again,

we could have become strangers,

known not the hows and when.

We could have let go,

of a love we let grow.

we could have broken this bond,

and never been more.

We could have never let this show.

We could have given into the distance,

and walked further away,

time would have healed hearts

but we kept them together anyway.

I believe with all my heart,

what we had and still have is strong,

that between you and me,

Nothing can go wrong.

We've held close till today,

and even though you're far away,

you're a major part of what I've become.

You're a star, an inspiration and then some.

Distance could have made us glum,

to a tiny bit of sadness, I could have succumbed,

but we're different, we're joint at the heart,

you and I are as strong as they come, 

close enough, together when apart. 

Wonder Woman

She's seen it all.
She's watched the worst of them rise
and the best of them fall.
She's may be just about 5 ft tall,
but in her eyes, no challenge is too small.
She may come across as naive,
and often too sweet,
but she is a fighter,
a warrior underneath.
It is in not knowing that I learned her,
in studying her smile that I saw,
she's a walking talking miracle and more
even though, she endures an internal war.
There are some who try hard,
but never get past her shield,
they scratch and claw
but she can see they won't survive her battlefield.
Their determination pales in comparison,
to the constants that made their way in,
those special ones who crept in through the cracks
they're the ones who'll always have her back.
She's a storm in her own right,
she'll love you with all her might,
she'll embrace you lovingly when life becomes night,
she's anything but quiet,
she won't let go without a fight.
And when a loved one fought darkness for life
she was her only light.
She held her hand and all seemed right.
She is angelic, magical, unreal and dear.
She is no stranger to the power of a tear.
She's had a fair share of pain,
but she's grown from there,
never to see those wars again.
She's deep and emotional,
but rightly so,
just when you think she's lagging,
she'll love you even more.
She's a tiny explosion of love,
hitting you just when you need.
There is a fire in her eyes,
an enthusiasm in the air she breathes.
I may not know much,
but I know enough to say,
She's a star in the depth of a dark night,
and I love her,
louder and brighter each day. 

Take Me Along

It hurts
a little more every time
and I can't say a word
for you aren't doing a crime.
but it hurts enough to bring me here
to type out another rhyme

I wish you knew what it does to me
to know you'll pack and leave
you'll have me packing my own heart away
the very same that I wore on my sleeve

I worry for my tomorrow love
if i'll make it without you, and how?
if I can overcome the truth you are
by disguising our love now.

I'll be damned if I let you slip through my fingers
without a fight
we may have been friends in the eyes of many
but you were my lover by night

I can't make you stay
I can't tell you you shouldn't go away
you are a bird taking flight
You'll fly high, I pray.

The pain will come in storms
shaking my world everyday
it's something I'll have to deal with
become one with it, if I may

You waltzed in, shook the earth beneath me
and now my solid ground you'll take
you've been my only constant
my favorite earthquake

Leave if you have to,
if it's the life you want to make
but take my love along, dear
At least for my heart's sake.

Get Real

It's always me,
it's always me giving you chances,
chances to prove yourself, chances to explain,
its always me who falls again and again.
There is always pain,
and nothing else to gain.
It's always you driving me insane.
You always promised I would be your main.
Your prime lover, your favorite name.
But now all we ever do is play the blame game
Nothing's the same.
Am I now just another dame?
I've done this so many times now,
it's like I've learned your tells somehow,
You hold me close and whisper love
you make me feel like your very own turtle dove.
And then in the very next moment you're changing tides
and an ocean of doubt threatens to overflow from my eyes.
You are unpredictable and mostly unsure of yourself,
you're a coward storing my heart on a shelf.
I pray that you see one day
that you have a huge price to pay.
My heart isn't meant to stay that way
and when I'm sick of waiting on you to man up,
I shall dust you off me, and walk away.
Show me you're not who you're proving yourself to be
show me before it's too late,
show me you truly love me.