Icarus

They said if you get too close, you'll burn.
Fly too high and it might be the last lesson you'll learn.
Fly too low and the lesser you'll know.
So find a balance, keep your eyes open, feel the wind
and judge for yourself, be alert, know you way.
Had they warned me how good it would feel to jump,
how addictive the fall and the rise above it all,
would I have known better, been wiser?
Had I known how beautiful the sun,
how it put all my pieces back together
turned million to one, whole,
shone on me like soft gold,
Had I  known,
would I have thought twice?
Or challenged the wind and regardless, flown.

It burned my soul and ignited in me
a flame so strong, stubborn to the breeze.
A fire that failed to cease
my heart from racing the currents,
embracing the winds.
I competed with every breath,
to fly further from inevitable death
or towards it,
I wasn't even sure.
But when the sky's your bed and the sun your love,
you wouldn't mind it, were you to die a dove.

Closer, higher, falling upwards to your warmth,
wind in my hair, you were there,
constant, all encompassing, soul bare.
Where nothing could freeze my soul
no breeze too strong to turn my heart cold
you were it, you were the one,
lost, and in love, I flew higher towards my sun.

Was Icarus a fool
to have lent a deaf ear to his father's only rule?
He was free and in love
with hope and wings of a dove.
While we're all looking for the something in between
Icarus experienced a love unseen.

I'm inching higher, nearing the clouds he sought
I'm afraid I'm just like him in soul, in heart and in thought.

Confessions of an Overindulgent Mind

This could be my over imaginative mind that's never been kind to me and my heart
But its always played a part in building me and my hopes
only to destroy them and leave me clinging to a rope, the only thing left to hold on, to to hang on to my sanity.
Excuse my vanity, but there's this thing about me, this thing I see
every time you're near me. Dear me! time begins to warp, and slow down,
my feet don't feel a ground.
You probably think I sound delirious but this is something I determine serious
For I cannot go a minute without a day dream of you in it.
You're there when I wake up,
You're there in my sleep
You're there trying to keep me and my arms around you.
Surround you but then I awake.
But I see you're a mystery
Wanting to be read like a third grader learning history.
Kiss me and I will read every word on your lips like you are the only thing I will ever believe in
Leave in your insecurities so that my tongue can explore
What it tastes like to encounter your heart long before
you know what I will say when I tell you how I'll love you always.
Again I'm lost in a day dream of sorts where I'm near you
And shivering with giddy delight
Because my soul feels light and in love
When you're near me, when you're around and about
There's absolutely not a speck of doubt
that I've fallen for your quirks and all.
Loving every page of you, folding the edges of you
that I want to come back later to.
Exploring fables inked in your skin,
Tracing circles along your spine that boasts of so many wins,
Ghost-kissing your shoulder and telling you stories of us growing older.
This could be my over imaginative mind that's never been kind to me and my heart
But its always played a part in building me and my hopes
only to destroy them and leave me clinging to a rope, the only thing left to hold on, to to hang on to my sanity.
Excuse my vanity, there's this thing about me, this thing I see
I see you watching me,
me falling harder, and deeper in love with thee.

Hindsight

I looked to my left
and there I saw it.
A portal. Disguised as eyes.
So inviting I couldn't resist
And my toes, tempted as they were to test new waters,
jumped in without a thought,
fought no resistance from a heart, otherwise so shy,
so hesitant on any other day to even say "Hi".
But here I was, now and for a long time, dreading a goodbye.
By and by I grew comfortable in your universe,
still unsure whether you were a boon or a curse.
The rantings of your soul began to quench my thirst.
You brought out the worst
in me and the best in me,
and I could see no other but you.
You were true and mad and deep,
and I loved you.
Truly, madly and deeply.
We were a real life fairy-tale
Tip toeing around what never should have been,
But was anyway.
The sky was the limit for our kind of love.
Above us and below us, all around us denied,
But you were my safe place, my north star, the only place I could hide
Beside you, was where my heart resided
I confided and so did you,
our love abided but fell apart too.

And now I'm writing words they don't get.
And context that was never set.
Let them never understand the force that took my hand and pulled me in through that portal,
a love that was fatal and new,
that brought colours and blue,
that left me admitting things I've never said before,
that left me standing by your door
and whispering..
"Please just give us another chance,
My melody is incomplete without your soul and a dance."

One mistake, one fault of my own,
I see now in hindsight,
back where it all began
I should have never fallen through
I should have never held your hand
I should have ditched the portal and its alluring light
I should have, I wish I had, forcefully looked to my right.

2 am, my confidant

2 am,

you've always been true to me,

never let me down.
When silence unfriended me,
you kept me sound.

You were the noise in my chaos 

and the cry of my soul.

You knew the difference between a warm embrace,

and a love gone cold.

Bold enough were you,

to throw reality in my face

and scream into my ears

that it wasn't my place

to order the stars around and meddle with fate.

It wasn't about love as much as it was about hate
for words that come to me,
when the hour is just too late.

Wait a moment, I know it's late.

But 2 am, you never condemn

me for calling you up,

when I'm feeling too down;

for confiding in you,

about the demons that surround

me, in my all too conscious state

with a head that won't think straight.

Complicated are the hours of day,

for those are moments I won't say

what needs to be said.

No, I require your ears when I'm lazing in bed.

My head's a mess of words and memories,

a game of chess between me and the reveries.

2 am, you've seen me through it all,

you've seen my highs and my drunken falls.

Crawl into dawn with me, my friend

in your hour alone I will begin and end.

Flawful

The exact moment I knew I was in love with you
was the moment I realized I was in love with your flaws too.
Every scar on your shoulder from carrying the weight of the world
to every line on your palm from juggling baggage too real.
The moment you found you could trust me with a secret,
was the moment I knew I would hold it in my heart till the day we part.
And you started to sing, words like a river flowing from your lips,
sips of water to quench my thirsting heart.
Your secrets became a part of me,
shattered me so that I could see,
that broken and bold has its own beauty.
Me, a flaw by nature,
found that I could not hate your
wrongs and I could not fight.
For your flaws shone on my soul
like the stars do for the night.
Ripples turned to waves
that gushed over the walls you've made slaves
to your stubborn heart that never shared.
But now, bared, the most human thing I've ever encountered,
the most earthly words I've ever heard,
naked, your soul lies before me
after me to bare mine too.
Shhhh,
Listen to its tune.
We can laze this way until its noon.
And I'll worship every flaw you've ever thought made you unworthy
ever thought taints you in my eyes,
ever thought could make me see you as any less
than the beautiful mess of imperfect perfection
that you are.
Bar no story from me while I explore,
and dust off secrets from your shore.
Slowly but surely you'll see through and through
I am nothing but a mess, more flawed than you.
And maybe, somewhere at dawn
I'll meet you half way,
and we'll balance out our differences.
I'll take every pain of hate you feel,
and every brick you've used for shield,
keep them aside for us to heal.
Seal away the things that hurt the most,
and kiss your seas from coast to coast.
Together we will drown in the waters of a dark sky,
Lie with me, hit pause.
Let me worship the beauty in your flaws.

I Write You

In case we don't make it,
you should know the truth.
I've never felt more alive,
than in moments spent with you.
In case we fall again,
and out of love this time,
you should know you brought beauty to every season,
and reason to every rhyme.
Perhaps we'll crash and burn,
yearn for new love and no return.
Maybe we'll learn we're better apart.
Heart fooled and dumbfounded,
sick of a love so grounded.
In case we don't soar,
you can never not know,
You have flowers for a soul,
blooming always, never growing old.
Gold is your story,
your story untold.
Fold me, in your journal of anecdotes,
let me be a page you come back to,
when you need to be reminded,
of the things that had you blinded.
Find it, in moments when you need
to remember our greed.
Read and then close.
Like our love, and the end we chose,
we will fade between the pages,
slowly, surely settling for prose.
In case we don't make it,
You should know the truth,
I've never written poetry and love
the way I write you. 

What's your story, 2017?

There are things you know at the back of your mind that need not present themselves so often; to the extent that you sometimes don't give them the credit they deserve.
There are things you are aware of, that are so one with your soul, you hardly ever take time to acknowledge.

This is me acknowledging my 2016.

2016 was a roller coaster disguised as a year for me and I think the ending culminated into a bitter sweet 'happily ever after' bringing to mind how steep the downfalls were and how uplifting the climbs were.

Never before have I felt so much in one year than I did in 2016 and I think I owe all thanks and curse to a circus I have for a heart and an open book I have for a soul.

I did stupid things, smart things, heart breaking things and heart mending things and all not necessarily for myself. This is not to say I have been ignorant to myself, infact, I did learn to be selfish and look out for my own needs over my friends for once. You know what it taught me? It proved to me how much I hate that idea.

2016 showed me that in letting go whats toxic to your soul, you inadvertently allow positive energies in.

I graduated from college, got a job, got another job, had 3 love interests that were toxic from conception and made friends I know will stay for the long run. I also let go of attachments and obsessions and learned there will be no growth without change.

2016 was also a year I admitted things to myself that take a lot of courage and a lot of soul energy. to the point that it tires you mentally. I fought battles within myself that not many on the outside knew about, and the handful of people who I shared this with, stood by me and pushed me on.

I opened up to people who in-turn opened up to me and it showed me more than anything, what a guarded world we live in. I made a pledge to myself to be alright with weird, to allow myself to be odd and strange and to be me more than anything. No matter how uniform the world asks me to be, I made up my mind and my heart to be as different as I can be even if it means letting go of a few people I've met along the way.

2016 taught me that we're all here for a short period of time and we owe it to ourselves and to the people we love to express ourselves, to tell the people we love that we love them, to talk to people we find intriguing and inspiring, to read the books we want to read and write blogs we want to write, to kiss the people we want to kiss, to ask for help when you need it, and to help when you see someone suffering in silence.

I started using a new conversation starter. 'Whats your story', I asked. and the answers were mind-numbingly beautiful. The best friendships began there.

2016 put a lot of truths in the back of my mind, and I wish nothing more than to hold them as a filter before me, for this new year. I want to take the things I've learned about me into this new year and add layers of truth and positivity to them. I wish to become the best version of myself this year and I hope you find it in yourself to be honest with your heart too.

Have a beautiful year ahead, you guys.