Sigh.

Suddenly she wasn't sure
whether the truth brought her out of misery
or only pushed her in some more
for now it hurt more than it ever did before
now it was real, and turned every healed wound, sore
Now it completely tore
open a heart that had been too bold to show
how much it had invested
how much it had to know
Maybe it was destined
maybe it had to come out someday
maybe she should have seen it coming
Maybe it was her price to pay
for trusting yet another with her heart all the way
For yet again, she'd let it stay
in the hands of someone
who treated it the same way
as all the others ever did
with care only for their own need
She accepted the words with bravery and grace
and walked away in need of space
She walked on over to her hiding place
but let not a tear stain her face
She was broken inside and falling apart
but she can't remember a time,
when she felt pieced together
it had been this way from the start
she laid down on the cool ground
staring at the stars
wondering if lying bastards lived on mars
She'd happily migrate
if it meant she'd have a better fate
the world was getting too cliché
she no longer wanted to even try
and it was no longer even worth a cry
she could lay there all night
until sleep overtook
and dream of a man she'd read today in a book

Lessons To Learn

What we had was gold
What we shared was bold
But I should have seen it coming
Should have known we'd grow old
Just like in the stories told
Then, all it took was one look, and I was sold
Now I'm left reminiscing
What we had was gold

What we became was indestructible
It seemed that way at least
Now we're broken and scattered
Still looking for our final peace
Our hearts were exchanged on lease
Tomorrow though, I'll come return your keys

We had tangled well,
Never knowing where one began
and the other ended
Now we're trying to undo the moments
We spat out words so distasteful
Words we otherwise never intended
Words, that tangled between our lips
Like our limbs beneath the sheets

We made love, had fun
But now we're too apart to ever be one
We're stuck in an oblivious state
Where Always is a promise we question
And love is hidden behind a wall of hate
We studied each other well
And now learned our lessons
But you will always be the class I'd take
For you, I will put it all at stake

72 hours ago, you were it
You were the final piece
You were lover, my friend, a minx, a tease
Now your lips hone a desperate "please"
Asking me to walk away,
Like it's something I'll do with ease
We loved. It was real
I don't think that kind of thing is erasable
But we loved. Past tense.
And now there's no sitting on a fence
You've gone your own way
And I'm on the other side

In the past I have cried
But I've learned and learned some more
Everyone eventually walks out that door
We are but just human devices
To be used to love and care
And then to move on, that love to share
Although, elsewhere.
I will cherish all the need you felt for me
And all the need I felt for you
But I will never forgive, for as long as I live
The lie you stood by
That my forever was you.

Remain

The least I can do is remember you
after all the pain you went through
and all the love you were a stranger to
and all the smiles that never faced you
and all the laughter that missed to wipe away the blue
the blue that filled you
The least I can do is tell the world your story
about how you did good
but shied away from glory
And even though you faded away
from everything tangible, night and day
your memory hangs on to my heart
forever there to stay
The least I can do
is remember you today
and remind the world of your name
I believe nothings been the same,
since the day that call came
And even though I fall into routine
time and again,
nothing erases that 'empty' pain,
when I walk by your house
and see us there,
sitting at your porch
with not a world's care.
The least I can do is remember you,
and all the stupid things you'd say and do.
These moments of nostalgia are all I have
and all I can give to you.
I won't let your memory fade, dear friend
the least I can do, is always remember you.

Fool

I have memorized your face
I know every little blemish and every clear space
your eyes talk to me more often than your tongue
your heart's calm, while mines high strung
I know it when you've day dreamed at night
I can see it in your smile
I know it when you've woken up from a fight,
or out of fright
and when you dread the thought of daylight
I can see all too clear
when the brown of your eyes
turn lighter in surprise
or when they lose their life,
as you battle the strife.
I could study them
and know every tell
I could be the only one
to know you this well.
but you, you will remain oblivious
or rather, you will choose to
And you will lose many a heart
if you continue on this path.
But I'll never hold it against you
as long as you follow your heart.
Nevertheless I wish you Love alone
because Love is the only blessing that'll
never let you wander in company that's your own
And there is nothing more I'd want for you
than to always be surrounded by company that's true
I may not be the one you choose
but I will not let you be the one I lose.
Who are we fooling
when we're both oblivious fools.

The Actor

You aren't you.
At least not when you're up there,
Lights on your face, a spark in your eye.
Today laughter, tomorrow a strangled cry.
You are here today and tomorrow, elsewhere.
Your face so expressive one moment, the next a blank stare
You are filled with passion,
Passion to be,
Not one, but many.
But it is who you want to be.
And who am I to stand between
you and your lifetime dream.
But the problem here isn't all of the above.
The problem here is that I'm in love.
I'm in love with you. And I mean only You.
I don't feel anything for the characters you make true.
Behind all that make up and hair spray,
Is my soulmate, my night and day.
And I want nothing more than to watch you.
I will sit among the crowds and watch you shine
And I will stand when you bow, and tell everyone you're mine.
I will stand with pride, I have no doubt
But I won't kiss you until I'm sure as hell,
from your character's mind, you've come out.
For when our lips connect, our souls will too
And I will know at once if I'm not kissing you.
Spare me the torture of making love to another
While the man I love is lost altogether.
In this light, I ask but one thing,
That you take your characters to the stage
But never, to our home, bring.
In foresight, what I would inevitably dread,
Is if you lose yourself in your characters head.
And dare you bring a stranger into our bed.
I want you, for it is you I will wed.
And if ever you lose yourself in an act or two
Take your time, and all that you need,
I will be, patiently, waiting up for you.
What I hold on to now and for the days to come
Is that you play one role in my life, my life, my love
I've seen you up there and I've seen the roles you wear,
But none are as charming as you really are.
None can be my north star.
I ask that when you come home each day,
You keep me close and the rest of you away.
Tell your characters to leave us alone,
Take them off with the clothes you've worn.
Stand bare before me and let me see,
That you are the man that fell in love with me.
And I will love you and all of just you with every piece of my heart,
I will love you only with your characters apart.
You are you when you're loving me,
And that's the only You I need you to be.

Craze

And for just a moment
I thought we were done.
For a fleeting moment
I thought I'd lost the one, the only
person I had,
who could compare
to the feeling of warmth from the sun.
on a cold winters morn.
For a second I thought you gave up,
And you made me wonder
if I had any chances of winning the fight.
But I doubted.
I always believed we were both losers from the beginning,
fools for each other, spoilt and in love,
we lost our hearts to the other
And in losing we won.
We were one.
But I have to admit,
I thought for just a second there
You wanted none
of me, or of what we could be
And of what you wanted me to be.
Did you even want me to be?
For a matter of time, I couldn't rhyme
And to an ordinary, that's not a crime.
But only you know what words mean to me,
And what they mean about me,
And without them, how I'm not even me.
For those few moments the words never came
I was left wondering, will we ever be the same?
But in those moments I must say here
I saw every moment of my life that I had made your own,
I over-read every rough note of the poems for you I wrote.
In an attempt to feel close to you again
I time travelled now and then.
And as much as the fear of losing you often overtook
I distracted myself with a song or a book.
I was a wordless me
But I was a fool to think you'd ever leave,
I was a fool to think you'd be like the rest
I was an idiot at best.
In those few moments, I was put to the test.
I should have known all along
It couldn't be true.
We're undeniably strong
For when the worst was over, you were standing right there,
Needing me and wanting to share
And with that same old loving smile you always wear,
You walked up to me and I didn't care
about those few lonely moments I had to bear
Because nothing else matters when you're lips are on mine
And my hands, in your hair
And every apology unsaid and every word unwritten
Is involuntarily shared between souls so smitten.
You are mine, you have and always will be
And even when you wander away
Lose your path and travel astray
I will lose the words but never mourn
For I have faith you will come back one day, you will return
To these arms that can only hold you
To this soul that will always love you.
You are my insanity, you are my craze
Words come easy when you set my heart ablaze.

Them

You will meet selfless people in your life.
You will meet them, and befriend them, and they will surprise you.
You will meet them and know them, and not know yourself anymore.
You will meet them, and love them, and your world will change.
You will be astounded by passion in them,
by their drive to always give.
You will doubt their intentions,
but they will prove to be pure.
You will question why,
and more 'why me?'
but they will remain loving ,
loving you unconditionally.
You hold these angels close.
Don't for once think you don't need them.
You hold them close and keep them there,
Not just for you, but for their own love to share,
You accept the love they think you are worthy of,
and accept the fact that they can't stop loving you.
You don't run from a heart that will always understand.
You don't simply let go of the only person who'll hold your hand.
It would be a pity if you let them slide,
while you find refuge behind a wall, your favorite place to hide.
You embrace their love because you know it's worth the world,
you hold it tight, because they will stand by you in the fight.
You keep them near ,
because you want them there now suddenly more than need them.
And because you see now, how they help you grow
You find yourself falling in love with them,
but the kind of love that isn't bound by commitment,
It is simply a loose tie that willingly stays in place,
reversible, but you wouldn't dare untie it.
For they grow on you, they become a part of you,
so much that you can't keep them out at all.
They are within you, and around you,
and suddenly that's no longer an issue.
You like them there
But dare you get used to it,
dare you think for once that you can take them for granted.
Dare at all, to expect them to stand there while you walk all over them.
Hell will break lose as your universe readys its own noose.
Dare you decide to make them a thing of convenient use.
You will break, you will lose,
the one love that was right, the one you didn't have to choose.
They are selfless, but not naive,
they are loving but not blind.
They will kiss you sweetly on the cheek,
smile and say goodbye,
leaving you, another them to find.
I beg you, keep them near,
they are lovers of a special kind,
rare and unique, so hard to find.
You will meet selfless people in your life.
You will meet them, and befriend them, and they will surprise you.
You will meet them and know them, and not know yourself anymore.
You will meet them, and love them, and your world will change.