Confessions of an Overindulgent Mind

This could be my over imaginative mind that's never been kind to me and my heart
But its always played a part in building me and my hopes
only to destroy them and leave me clinging to a rope, the only thing left to hold on, to to hang on to my sanity.
Excuse my vanity, but there's this thing about me, this thing I see
every time you're near me. Dear me! time begins to warp, and slow down,
my feet don't feel a ground.
You probably think I sound delirious but this is something I determine serious
For I cannot go a minute without a day dream of you in it.
You're there when I wake up,
You're there in my sleep
You're there trying to keep me and my arms around you.
Surround you but then I awake.
But I see you're a mystery
Wanting to be read like a third grader learning history.
Kiss me and I will read every word on your lips like you are the only thing I will ever believe in
Leave in your insecurities so that my tongue can explore
What it tastes like to encounter your heart long before
you know what I will say when I tell you how I'll love you always.
Again I'm lost in a day dream of sorts where I'm near you
And shivering with giddy delight
Because my soul feels light and in love
When you're near me, when you're around and about
There's absolutely not a speck of doubt
that I've fallen for your quirks and all.
Loving every page of you, folding the edges of you
that I want to come back later to.
Exploring fables inked in your skin,
Tracing circles along your spine that boasts of so many wins,
Ghost-kissing your shoulder and telling you stories of us growing older.
This could be my over imaginative mind that's never been kind to me and my heart
But its always played a part in building me and my hopes
only to destroy them and leave me clinging to a rope, the only thing left to hold on, to to hang on to my sanity.
Excuse my vanity, there's this thing about me, this thing I see
I see you watching me,
me falling harder, and deeper in love with thee.

Hindsight

I looked to my left
and there I saw it.
A portal. Disguised as eyes.
So inviting I couldn't resist
And my toes, tempted as they were to test new waters,
jumped in without a thought,
fought no resistance from a heart, otherwise so shy,
so hesitant on any other day to even say "Hi".
But here I was, now and for a long time, dreading a goodbye.
By and by I grew comfortable in your universe,
still unsure whether you were a boon or a curse.
The rantings of your soul began to quench my thirst.
You brought out the worst
in me and the best in me,
and I could see no other but you.
You were true and mad and deep,
and I loved you.
Truly, madly and deeply.
We were a real life fairy-tale
Tip toeing around what never should have been,
But was anyway.
The sky was the limit for our kind of love.
Above us and below us, all around us denied,
But you were my safe place, my north star, the only place I could hide
Beside you, was where my heart resided
I confided and so did you,
our love abided but fell apart too.

And now I'm writing words they don't get.
And context that was never set.
Let them never understand the force that took my hand and pulled me in through that portal,
a love that was fatal and new,
that brought colours and blue,
that left me admitting things I've never said before,
that left me standing by your door
and whispering..
"Please just give us another chance,
My melody is incomplete without your soul and a dance."

One mistake, one fault of my own,
I see now in hindsight,
back where it all began
I should have never fallen through
I should have never held your hand
I should have ditched the portal and its alluring light
I should have, I wish I had, forcefully looked to my right.